


don't lean on me ('cause i'll fall)

by tenjotenge (shangxia)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Narration Heavy, Texts & Messages, koganegawa uses suicidal remarks as a coping mechanism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26692300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shangxia/pseuds/tenjotenge
Summary: The first thing that Kousuke does, is shake his head. Koganegawa’s texts are a gale of expressions and high-strung exasperation with addedkaomojisthat ultimately could be simplified as this:I’ve lived a good life, it’s my time to die.koganegawa is a stressed college student and sakunami is, not in the least, concerned.
Relationships: Koganegawa Kanji/Sakunami Kousuke
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	don't lean on me ('cause i'll fall)

The continually interfered chimes indicate a string of messages vibrating off his phone, echoing him sober through the deserted hour. At this time usually, the only customers are a group of boys around his age who comes around looking for fillers and Hana-san with her fitful drop-ins; though, the latter almost never occurs when Nametsu-san isn't around. Late shifts are just another waged excuse to kill time, anyway.

Kousuke takes his time to attend to one and each texts, a far-out but much embraced companion late into the night. It's not so much as the messages as the person who sent them, if he's being truthful.

The first thing that Kousuke does, is shake his head. Koganegawa’s texts are, by easy means, like trying to make nothing out of a huge deal and make a huge deal out of nothing at the same time. It’s a gale of expressions and high-strung exasperation with added _kaomojis_ that ultimately could be simplified as this: _I’ve lived a good life, it’s my time to die._

Kousuke doesn’t want to indulge in the role of a worrywart — he focuses on the fact that it’s Koganegawa, in lieu of the lump forming a weight on his chest, small, small, but present.

By default, the only apt approach Kousuke thinks of is neither one that’s plaguing nor bland dismissal; he sends back, fingers lightly tapping and elbows resting on countertop, _at least take me with you._

+

The usual reaction Koganegawa’s texts pull out of Kousuke is something like this: Kousuke tries not to smile, then he fails. It’s hard to gain the upper hand over the mechanics of his lips. As natural as paper dissolved in water, Kousuke’s pair of lips pulled up at everything Koganegawa.

It’s not latent, as much as he hates to admit. Nametsu-san has come to use it as a chaffing bait when she, more than once, has stumbled upon Kousuke smiling at his phone — whether it’s during break, lazy hour, or just the disadvantage of being caught in a customer’s vicinity.

So, in a reaching attempt, Kousuke always bites down on his cheek.

This time around, however, is not the case.

+

_Come over and pat me on the back and say I did a good job maybe??? (_ 。 _•́_ ︿ _•̀_ 。 _)_

It’s followed by an attachment; the loading takes awhile on Kousuke’s beat-up phone and Kousuke is still blinking his haziness away.

When it finally loads, it’s an image, none other than of Koganegawa. He doesn’t actually able to _see_ Koganegawa — only the droopy peace sign he’s holding up is in the frame — the picture’s grainy from lack of light on Kousuke’s screen, but it’s tangible proof enough that it’s an image of draft papers and a whirring laptop. If Kousuke squints close enough, there are cans of crushed energy drinks too.

A reply itches on his fingers. He opens the next message.

 _Wait don’t, I haven’t showered since Thursday (_ ⇀ ‸ ↼‶ _) but i'm still fine i think ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶_

Kousuke thins his lips. It’s almost Sunday. 

The following texts he receives are the same back-and-forth, measles of information dump that tells Kousuke Koganegawa is definitely _not fine_. Kousuke grips his phone tightly.

 _Don’t overwork yourself, Kogane-kun!!,_ he replies.

+

The walk back home is cold and the rocky, paved road is illuminated by a long row of lamp-posts. Kousuke breathes into his scarf, littered with the likes of fine particles.

Kousuke’s phone pings once again

 _Were you serious before, Kou-kun? ( ´_ ∀ _`)_ ノ～ ♡

He stops in his tracks, threadbare boots scrapes against rock.

It’s easy as light is day, the things he’s feeling, Kousuke comes to learn. He’s worried for Koganegawa, whose engine is fuelled by carbonated drinks and deprivation of sleep and workloads that keep multiplying, rarely diminishing. He wants Koganegawa to function well, to enjoy the means of being a college student like the way western movies like to portray, instead of rotting away in his room and burying himself in mountains of papers. He wants to be there with Koganegawa, _for Koganegawa_.

The lowest of lows is a thin thread Kousuke so badly wants to cut.

+

_Were you serious before, Kou-kun? ( ´_ ∀ _`)_ ノ～ ♡ _bc i’m barely passing this class & my brain’s about to blow up_

 _Take me back to Miyagi (_ ╥﹏╥ _)_

 _Why did I want to do this again? pls i cannot comprehend why anyone wants to (_ ￣▽￣ _)_

_A company would be nice, any company makes dying more bearable_

_Preferably you though haha (_ 。· _//ε//_ ·。 _)_

+

Kousuke doesn’t want to indulge in the role of a worrywart, he wants to be a friend.

He snaps a picture of himself and it’s taken like those cat pictures he had the pleasure come across; the lower half of his face, out of frame, a thumb up, picture-clear in a gush of blurs and haste.

Words hardly mean anything but it's the least he can do. He adds, _it’s hard but i know u can pull through!!_ _—_ and adds again, _if u don’t…well, i’ve lived a good life too._

+

Kousuke falls asleep later on, deep in slumber as the sun starts its day. He falls asleep with his phone pressed uncomfortably to his chest.

The sound of Koganegawa’s little snores, an amity pulled apart by sung importance, but entirely present through static.

**Author's Note:**

> i just think nametsu mai and hana would be cute together,,


End file.
